“Walk a Mile in My Shoes”

We all have had that one person, that one family, that we admired or felt like they had it altogether. All of us, at one point in time, have had someone that we have been envious of or wondered how they got this or that. Some of us has even tried to mimic others by purchasing the same clothes, shoes, homes, or re-create their lifestyle. What we don’t know is the process, what it took for them to get where they are, the things they had to go through. All we know is that we want that….not really knowing the cost!

I have heard time and time again from others how I make life look easy. They admire how I take care of my daughters as a single mother, run three businesses, travel, and manage to find time for myself even with a hectic schedule. See, my life hasn’t always been this way and I am still a work in progress. Let me share a little of my story as more details will be a part of my book one day.

The beginning of my life was good but there were childhood traumas that I experienced growing up to include my parents getting a divorce when I was 6 years old to feelings of uncertainty about how our life will be without my dad in the home and the struggle my mom would have to endure raising us on her own. We also moved a couple of times in the process of this. In my 6 year old mind, I was mentally carrying the weight of my mother, my brother, my dad, and myself. I was already putting in my mind that I am going to be the best at everything and going to push myself to no limit to ensure that I was successful. I also told myself that I when I grow up and get married that I would get married and then have children and that there would be no divorce no matter what because of the effects that it had on our family. This was the idea thing…the overachiever syndrome I call it now. People deal with divorce and other childhood trauma in many ways, but becoming an overachiever was mines. I told myself that being successful would lead me to a road of no more trauma, pain, but an ideal life with the perfect husband, great kids, good job, and nice home. You know the stuff that us little girls read in the Harlequin Romance books and Lifetime movies.

Then came the marriage with its fair share of ups and downs, financial challenges, and uncertainty. Life was going okay but now I have child one still with life challenges, stress, depression, insecurity about myself. To the outside world, life looked great, but internally things were shifting in my life and I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it. During this time, God showed himself time and time again through sending people in my life to be a blessing, support our family, and miracles happening. My marriage was failing and I am trying to figure out how I am going to make it. Behind closed doors and when I was riding in my car I prayed and cried asking God to fix my life. I realize now that sometimes God fix things by removing them. Although it doesn’t look good or feel good, sometimes it’s what’s best for you. I also know that things gets worse, sometimes, before they get better.

Now that things just couldn’t be worked out between my ex-husband and I, divorce was inevitable. Now I am a single mom of a small child and baby, unemployed, broken, stressed, depressed, and not sure how I was going to provide for my children.

But God…I knew God as a child and have always had a relationship with him. I grew up in the church and have a family of believers that could quote scriptures, pray, sing, and praise God until the heavens shake it seems like. I have seen God show up and deliver in the midst of all hell breaking lose, but I still wasn’t sure how He was going to fix this situation and me. All I know is, God showed up in so many ways. People came through and blessed the girls and I to the point to where they had clothes for 2-3 years out. God gave me favor with my mortgage company to give me a moratorium for a few months. I had close friends to bless me financially to where I was able to pay up my bills and pay my car note up. Close friends (more like family) helping out to keep girls for me when I just needed a break or to work. Then God allowed my business to grow exponentially and quickly with clients that I had previously met with that weren’t ready to move forward that now had the money. I went from not knowing how I was going to make it to the overflow. It was at that time that I realized that no matter how much I thought I was in control of my life, God has always been in control.

The good, the bad, the ugly, has all worked out for my good. All of this is a part of my process, a part of my story. Things that I have gone through on my journey has been my evolving from the caterpillar on my journey to becoming a butterfly. Walk a Mile in My Shoes is a life’s journey. I believe that I won’t reach the full span of a butterfly until death. It will be at that time that my “purposed life” would be fulfilled by the footprints made in the lives of many around the world as a trailblazer. With that being said, I got a lot of work to do. I have many people like me that are on different life journeys that need encouragement, guidance, tools/resources, a cheerleader, and a coach. I am here to share, empower, and lead people to their Purposed Life!