Dealing with Stress and How to Overcome It

Sometimes you have to just take a moment to BREATHE! Inhale now Exhale! Yes, it’s an automatic thing that we do when we are living, but how many of us really take the time to just be present and take in the moment of air entering and exiting our bodies? With such a busy life, I understand how you can get so busy and consumed with everything around us that we don’t take time to embrace moments like this.

It was almost 5 years ago when I took my moment to BREATHE. I mean really focus on the intake of air through my nostrils and the out flow through my mouth. See, I was busy being a single mom of two (7 yr old and 2 yr old at the time), at the height of my career with my business, volunteering in the community through my non-profit, and just going and going, until one day my heart started panting then racing. I had to take a deep breath but it was a struggle. I had to sit down and grab my chest and was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I took a sip of water and then my heart started panting again and now it seemed to have skipped a beat. Now, I’m worried and not sure what’s going on but I had to keep my game face on for my girls and definitely not let my mother hear the panic in my voice while talking to her on the phone (she lives in another state). This went on a few more times over a course of a couple of weeks and I knew something was wrong. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for myself out of concern. While there, they did an EKG and it came back normal. They ran some additional tests and those came out fine as well. They put me on a treadmill in the office for about 30 minutes and sent me home with a heart monitor for 2 days.

I returned to the doctor on nervously on day 3 not knowing what my doctor was going to say, especially since heart problems run on my father’s side. Long story short, my test came back with high elevations of stress. My doctor told me that I needed to alleviate those things that are causing me stress or at least find ways to deal with/cope with stress in a more healthier way. I thought to myself, I have to raise my daughters and I have to run my business so that I can provide for my family. The next day I met a perfect stranger at a spa and while we were waiting she asked me what I do and I was excited to run down this long list of stuff. She looked at me and congratulated me on all the things that I’m doing in the world of social service, but what came next was a life-changing moment for me. She said to me, “I’m going to call you selfish”. I was like what, after all the things I told you that I do in the community. She said “yes”. She said, “you have two daughters to raise and take care of. You are giving so much of yourself to everything and everyone else that you don’t have time for yourself. Because you don’t have time for yourself, your health is changing and eventually your heart is going to be so overworked that you’re going to die”. Tears swelled in my eyes as she was talking. She went on to say that you gotta slow down and you gotta take some time for yourself and clock out of the world and people. If you don’t your days are only numbered. People will have some beautiful things to say about you at your funeral, but your poor daughters will be left for someone else to raise because you weren’t selfish enough with your time to say “no”, “not right now”, and just to enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

At that very moment, I knew that God had sent me a warning and a blessing (oxymoron I know) that saved my life and helped me to do life differently. It’s been a process, but I have learned to say no and take moments to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I want to share with you some things that I have done and do now to reduce and overcome stress:

1) Meditate first thing in the morning just to clear my mind of everything that comes racing when I first wake up.

2) Dance to my favorite music. I am talking about old school to new school.

3) Cook one of my favorite dishes or try a new recipe. It allows me to tap into my creative side and have fun.

4) For all of my app friends, I enjoy Wordscapes, Word Search, Infinite Word Search, and Words with Friends.

5) Coloring with my youngest daughter or playing games with both of them. It takes me out of adult mode and puts me into a child-like state with no care in the world.