Forgiveness…It’s Not for Them but for You!
We are all human, make mistakes, and sometimes we do things intentionally. We have all been hurt and hurt someone else. No matter the reason, it still hurts. Many of us are walking around everyday holding on to things, people, and situations that hurt us and still holding grudges. You got to let it go, not for them but for you! Do you know research shows that unforgiveness can cause depression, anxiety, body aches, high blood pressure, reduced sleep, chronic body pain, and weakened immune systems? Is it worth it? Are you going to continue to allow life to pass you by because you pushed things under the rug? Guess, what? One day you’re going to have to remove that rug and all of those things are still going to be right there.
I speak from experience that the more I denied myself the right to feel the way I did about childhood situations to my adult life and not forgive, the more it affected my mind, my body, and my relationships with people around me. I got to a place in my life that I no longer wanted my past to affect my present and future so I had to do something and something quick because I found myself starting to fall into depression, encounter nightmares, and push people of value out of my life because I was holding on to the pain of unforgiveness. Below are a few steps that I took to get to where I am now (peace) and I encourage you to find yours as well.
I had to acknowledge my feelings and allow myself to be okay with feeling the way I felt. I had to forgive myself for not releasing these feelings and emotions sooner
For those people that I felt wronged me and I felt comfortable with going to, I had a conversation with them and expressed my feelings. I also gave them the opportunity to share their reason and ask for an apology.
For those that wronged me and I didn’t feel comfortable going to, I wrote a letter and burned it up. While burning the letters, I affirmed that the past will no longer control me and say aloud “I release hurt, pain, disappointments, fears, negative energy, sickness, and all things that have attacked me because I couldn’t let go”.
For those people that I wronged, I had to admit I was wrong, acknowledge how I made them feel, ask for forgiveness, and ask if there’s anything I can do. Even if the person chooses not to forgive, at least you acknowledged you were wrong and now you can let that go too.
For those that no longer may be around or that you don’t have any contact with, write a letter and do the same as above. The key is to release! Let it go
I had close family and friends that I could be vulnerable enough to share my hurt and pain with that wouldn’t judge me if I cried, cursed, screamed, or said whatever, but just allowed me to get it out.
I prayed and asked God to help me to let go and forgive.
I listened to music that soothed my soul.
Choose to forgive yourself first, and then the person, situation, or things that has held us bound for all this time. You will begin to see a shift in your life…hope, love, peace, joy, and healing! Break the cycle and make today the last day that you allow unforgiveness to control your life. Repeat after me, “I choose to forgive!”
